September

September – As good a time as any to restart this blog. For me, it’s more like the first month of the year than January is. It’s the beginning of the school year, which I aways welcomed with eagerness and excitement. It meant new classes, new knowledge, new experiences, being with friends. And nearer to grown up independence. Little did I realize what I was in for!!

It was also the beginning of my life as a mother. My first child was born early in September, which was a thrilling, glorious, and intimidating event. This little bundle, the first of three, changed everything. Little did I realize what I was in for!

And that’s the story of my life.

Little did I realize what adulthood would bring, how the seeds sown in my childhood would push me in directions I did not anticipate, did not plan. and did not always welcome. Did not know the twisting turns and alleys that would confront me , and the darkness I would have to blindly explore searching for the light.

But I still love September. The weather shifts. Or used to. Here where I live now it’s still hot, well into the 80’s Fahrenheit during the day, 60’s at night. And yet the quality of the light has changed. Shadows are a little deeper, the light a little clearer, the humidity lessened.. Today on my walk with Yoda, my little long-haired chihuahua, I noticed a few more leaves on the ground from the oak and hazelnut trees, and a small peach-colored leaf nestled in the midst of green on a dogwood tree, not quite ready to drop. As I am not.

Yoda the Chihuahua
Yoda

I am looking forward to cooler weather and shorter days, the coziness of sweaters to keep me warm, blankets on my bed. Because now that I’m nearer the end of my life than the middle, the darkness holds few terrors for me. I seek its enfoldment, it’s promise. I nestle into it and listen to the sunset, sipping my tea while I seek what yet lies hidden, nudge it carefully out where I can see it better, reaching for wholeness.

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