The Bidet

Finally, the United States may learn the value of the bidet, long a normal part of bathroom fixtures in other parts of the world. I first encountered the bidet in France. In my youthful naivety, I wasn’t sure what it was for. Call me ingenuous, or maybe repressed, but somehow its intended use staggered my imagination. My psyche refused to take it in.

My sister and I, traveling through Europe for the first time a long time ago, used it for washing our feet after a long day climbing the Eiffel Tower. Moreover, as we were on a very restricted budget, our lodgings often featured a toilet down the hall to be shared with other guests, another horrific thought for spoiled Americans. Of course, it was a no-brainer to used the bidet as a more convenient receptacle for our night time micturitions than creeping down a dim hallway in the wee hours. And who knew who might have used the toilet last!

I eventually learned the real value of the bidet over many years of traveling and living abroad, and when I returned, I pondered whether or not to install a ceramic bidet `a la francais. My Chinese real estate lady clued me in. You could buy a toilet seat/bidet at Lowe’s , she said, (and elsewhere), thus avoiding the expense of installing an entire fixture.

So I did just that, and bought a Smart Bidet for$269. It has four settings which target different parts of one’s nether parts, depending on your sex, and includes a dryer. I have been using it for several years and wondering why everyone doesn’t have one.

And now, in this time of Covid-19, its value is proving itself once again. Toilet paper is a a thing of the past for me. So go on, hoard toilet paper all you want. I’m good.